Phil not Phil, etc.

The clock on my computer claims 10:01am, but I'm a little skeptical... For you see, this clock tends to lose track of the time quite often, but I digress...

I had lunch yesterday afternoon with my great friend and mentor and brother in Christ, Phil Jackson. For those of you scratching your proverbial head asking "Phil Jackson? Famed NBA championship coach several times over and Zen guru Phil Jackson?"... I'll let you ponder long and hard on that one.

Wrote a new song last night inspired by recent emotional and spiritual bouts... Enjoyed a homemade calzone made by my beautiful wife [Thanks for the GT Xpress 101 Mom!] and the company of some of our Sr High students at Center Grove Church [Tyler, Brad, Nicole, and Ty]. I poured myself a dark cup of decaf and listened to Brad and Tyler jam in the Mustard Room before watching a brand new episode of ER with a gun in it... Promos claimed America would be talking about this one. Well, America, are you talking?

Tonight we set a course for Lafayette to be musically and mentally challenged by the beat-driven, spiritually minded stylings of Josh Garrels!

Peace of Christ!

Haps in hipness

Greetings lost web travelers! I can't begin to imagine how you stumbled upon this weblog. Or is it simply 'blog'? I'm not quite as "hip" to the lingo as I'd like to let on... Nevertheless, I shall continue to share with y'all the haps and so forth as they indeed hap. Just a reminder, a new Joan of Arcadia is on tomorrow with guest star Hilary Duff! I am looking for extra VCRs which I can program just to be absolutely sure I don't miss it [I have yet to capture this elusive television genie known mysteriously as TIVO]... So anyone willing to lend a poor twenty-something male a spare VCR for an evening to guarantee his viewing enjoyment would be generously rewarded, I'm sure!

I'll be groovin' to the live sounds of Mr. Josh Garrels at Purdue University this Friday... I hope to see you there! Peace of Christ! Seacrest out!

Zoom! Crash! Boom!

It's funny how we often try to minimalize the Christian life as mountaintop and valley experiences. I know, I’ve heard the analogy and studied Matthew 17. I’ve even used that description myself. It’s an easy explanation. That’s what we like isn’t it? Easy explanations? I know I do. I’ve been guilty of using this analogy myself. But it seems a little too easy doesn’t it? This mountaintop/valley perspective on the Christian life comes off a bit one-dimensional when I look in on my own life.

Mike Yaconelli used to say that the roller coaster is a much more accurate model of the Christian life: “You say yes to Jesus, and suddenly you are strapped in and you think, I’m going to die! Then you begin the long climb of growth—Sunday school, baptism, church membership—and you think, Hey, no problem. I can follow Jesus anywhere, and then—ZOOOOOOOOM—you crash into the twists and turns of life, jerking left then right, up then down, and fifty, sixty years go by and—WHAM!—you’re dead.”

The reality of that model strikes me to the core! In all honesty, half the time I don’t know which way is up and which way is down. Recently, it’s been brought to my attention that many of my good friends who have begun their college chapter of life are struggling. They are struggling with school, future decisions, being away from families who miss their presence, broken relationships which have never been reconciled, deeply connecting with others… I’m suddenly reminded that, while exciting, new, and liberating, this phase of life can also be confusing and scary as hell!

Too often, we can find ourselves riding this roller coaster with others who seem to be having a good time—their hands are in the air, they’re screaming with the rest of the passengers as life goes careening left and right—but the reality is, they’re lonely and scared to death, believing they’re riding all by themselves. I’m not so sure that the rest of life is any different. I do know that on this disorienting ride called life, God’s grace meets us at every twist and every turn. I also know that we don’t need to ride alone. When we expose our fears, confess our brokenness and pray for each other, God heals and He makes us whole. The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with.

New morning

This morning, awakened to the sunshine beaming in through my bedroom window, I was reminded that today is a new day… a chance to change… another chance at being and living to please Christ rather than wading in the puddles of stagnant filth that I often find myself in.

I spent some time in the book of Hosea—the story about a man who loved God and was married to a whoring, cheating wife. What’s more, it is a real life parable of God’s love for his people. As I crept in to the 3rd chapter this morning, I read that the prophet Hosea is told by God to “Start all over: Love your wife again, your wife who’s in bed with her latest boyfriend, your cheating wife.”

On this particular morning, I think the greatest message I heard in this passage was not necessarily from Hosea’s perspective, but from the perspective of the unfaithful wife—or the unfaithful Israelites—listening in and realizing that I have a chance to start over with my loving groom—or with my loving Father. God’s love is still perfect and true for you and I as much today as it was yesterday or the day before that… or the day before that…

It’s a new day… a chance to change. Most of that is up to you and me. Am I willing to be changed? I know that our Abba Father is the God of restoration and reconciliation. We can start over because God loves us—even as we “flirt and party with every god that takes our fancy.”

Life, lifelessness and other childlike thoughts

Don’t touch that! Quiet down! Grow up! Quit acting like a child! Even from the time that we’re very small, we are often discouraged from behaving like children. Whether it’s for our own safety or whether it’s so that we’ll fit in, we are constantly told that we need to grow up and act our age. While approaching maturity as followers of Jesus requires us to put behind us childish things, I think we need to rediscover following Him with childlike faith. There’s a fine line between acting childish and being childlike.

Jesus has something to say about childlikeness. Matthew 18:3 gives an account of Jesus calling a small child to Himself and then saying to the adults around Him, “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” What would it look like for you and me to follow after Jesus like a child—with the wonder, the mystery, and the danger of experiencing life for the first time?

Faith like a child is the kind of faith honored by our Father in Heaven. It’s not a safe faith. It’s a faith that breeds curiosity and danger and astonishment. It is as Mike Yaconelli calls it in his book, Dangerous Wonder, a “gloriously treacherous” faith. There is no glory in a lifeless faith which simply finds us safely sitting in our pew every Sunday morning to enjoy our comfortable religious routine. Following Jesus is anything but comfortable or routine. Following after the unpredictable Jesus found in the gospels is flying by the seat of your pants. It’s having tables turned, curtains torn, and kingdoms flipped upside down. It’s never knowing what to expect Him to stir up in our perfectly mapped-out lives.

Treacherous? indeed! Glorious? Absolutely!

So how is the Church today, any different from those of the early Church who were martyred for their zeal in following after Jesus? The culture is certainly different in many ways, but what about us? What about the Church? The disciples of the early Church were not called to live safely, but were commissioned by Christ Himself to “go”. This going that Jesus had in mind didn’t have anything to do with going and hiding away in their comfy little feel-good steeple-adorned buildings so as not to be infected by the world. Instead, the going that Jesus commands at the end of Matthew is a charge to infect the world with Himself, making disciples, baptizing them, and teaching them! Nothing very passive about that kind of life. Some might even consider it “dangerous”, “adventurous”, or “risky”.

We’ve become satisfied with a life-enhancing Christianity rather than a life-changing Christianity. We’re often content with being “nice people” instead of radical followers of Jesus.

So what’s at the root of this very un-Christlike mentality?

Hmmm… That’s a list too lengthy to go into. But for the sake of this article, let’s talk about fear. Do you fear going to unfamiliar places? Do you fear people who look very different from yourself? Do you fear investing in other people? Do you fear rejection from other people? Do you fear the possibility of missing out on life elsewhere while you’re not there? Do you fear that you’re not good enough for God to use you? I sure am. It’s ironic how we can miss out on life because we’re afraid of experiencing life. But that’s often what happens. We turn our backs on experiencing life and in the process turn our backs on God, the author and perfector of life. We become the Church’s own worst enemy by saying that we believe in Jesus while we’re no longer astonished and amazed by Him. It’s a frightening notion. It frightens me even more to think that I could—or potentially already have—become that very person.

I want to live dangerously close to Jesus, in absolute awe, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. But I’m afraid… I’m afraid of having my life “ruined” by Jesus, because that’s exactly what Jesus does. He turns our lives inside out and upside down until the only way we know who we are is by knowing who He is. He invented life. He offers us to experience life and promises it to us abundantly. Often that means being violently thrown from our cozy four-walled religion into a wildly colorful and boisterous world.

I want to approach the throne of Grace with the wide-eyed wonder of a child, completely and utterly overwhelmed by the unflinching love of my Father.

This is it

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” -Jeremiah 29:11

Over the past month, God has been stirring up a lot of things inside of me. For about a week in March I was going through a bout of emotional ups and downs as I often do (I’ve got my mother’s emotions—don’t tell anyone else that!) Just as I started questioning where all of this was coming from, my wife and I were blessed with a five day vacation at the end of the month. We spent our time in a place between Nashville and Knoxville called Fairfield Glade. The overcast, rainy whether which accompanied us most of the week only helped me to relax and start to unpack some of the stuff I was dealing with.

As the week progressed, and I gradually slowed down and got my heart quieter, I began to realize what was happening. I’m investing my life into kids who are gonna leave. It’s one thing that I wasn’t really prepared for when diving into youth ministry. I maybe experienced some of that last year, but the relationships which God has forged between myself and many of our Seniors this year have been on a deeper level. I’m simply really gonna miss them when they leave for college in the Fall! These kids aren’t just students of mine, but they’re brothers and sisters in Christ, partners in ministry, friends.

It’s been so exciting to watch these kids wrestle with their faith. Together we’ve questioned what it means to be a follower of Jesus. We’ve carried each others burdens, shared in each others joys, and have laughed ourselves silly in the process. Together we’ve come to the end of ourselves and have been met by the arms of our Savior who bids us come unto Himself for rest from the busyness we’re all so guilty of. I have been blessed to be a part of our Father’s nurturing as He continues to grow these kids into wide-eyed, radical lovers of God.

As I sit back and take all of this in, I can feel the gentle affirming voice of my Father reassuring me that this is what the Church should be about. This is what following Jesus is about. It’s about people. It’s about lives being shared and turned upside down and inside out as we learn to abandon ourselves and awkwardly seek fellowship with the same Jesus who has been all the while chasing us down and recklessly loving us into His arms.

I feel oddly like a parent—coming to terms with the fact that I’ve got to let go of my kids and entrust them into the hands of the One who brought them into my life in the first place. I love these kids, but it thrills me even more to know that the same Jesus who meets me in the broken places of my life is even more in love with them than I could ever imagine.

Can you relate?

I have been meeting one-on-one every week with a young man who is asking questions… Questions about truth… Questions about faith… Questions about life and eternity and a guy named Jesus Christ. Our conversations are often deep. Sometimes they are not so deep. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable when he asks questions that I feel inadequate to answer. But the amazing thing is that God always shows up and He doesn’t expect me to have all the answers. God expects me to respond to His love with compassion. God expects me to see my friend through the eyes of the One who saw me fit to receive forgiveness. But you know what? Sometimes, it’s really hard to see past ME.

If the world is to know we are Christ’s disciples by our love for one another, what then would the world have to say about us? Often, it seems like we, the church, are more concerned with pursuing our own agendas than we are about showing compassion to those who seem to “get in our way”. Jesus tells us to settle our disagreements and to be reconciled with each other quickly. Unfortunately, the church finds itself looking just like the rest of the world when it comes to bickering, back-biting, and bitterness. The outside of the cup can look neat and tidy, but means absolutely nothing if the inside is caked in bitter hearts, spiteful grudges, and selfish motives. I bring these things up as a sinner saved by grace who struggles with these very issues. I wrestle with myself and others over “serving God” MY way. But when I sit down with my friend over coffee and read about Jesus while he asks questions about why life matters, I begin to remember that it’s so much NOT about me. It’s not about doing ministry MY way or anybody else’s way for that matter. It’s about loving God and loving people.

Life matters because people matter… to God. He has created us and us alone in His own image. We are valued and loved by our Wonderful Creator. Understanding God’s love frees us to walk humbly with Him and to stop demanding more from Him and those around us. Walking humbly with God produces peace in our lives and enables us to engage a world full of people in need of forgiveness with compassion. We were created to walk humbly with God through this life, through death, and out the other side to eternity with Him.

Ready to jump

Well, here we are dangling our feet off the edge of another year gone by. As the wind of a new day sweeps between our toes and tussles our hair, we can imagine what it might be like to leap forward and free fall into that great unknown that is tomorrow, never looking back. Never wondering, “what if?” Never fearing that which awaits us.

Instead, most of us sit on the threshold of the New Year feeling beat up, exhausted, focusing on everything that we aren’t, the goals we failed to meet… on all the things we didn’t do, say, become, work on, or accomplish. Have you started setting goals for 2004 about all the things you intend to do, to say, to become, to work on, or to accomplish? Well give it up! How many Decembers have we done this only to end another year in disappointment before starting another year with new goals? STOP! Shut that voice up!

As you look out from that ledge upon the great big blue sky, be still. Breathe. Think back just for a moment and consider everything that has happened this year that was beyond you. For that matter, think of everything that happened despite you. Perhaps you were forced to look in the mirror and face some ugly things about yourself or your family… and survived. Maybe a friend or spouse who you thought would never attend a worship service with you showed up. Maybe you made a decision to stay in your marriage and really work at it… or maybe you finally found the courage to face an already broken marital covenant and had to make a decision about that. Maybe, in yourself or someone you love, you faced the pain of loneliness, sexuality, death, illness, infertility, shame, or addiction. Maybe you got a surprisingly favorable response after confronting someone on an issue… or perhaps you got the expected negative response and mustered the courage to move on. Maybe you received an obvious affirmation of your calling… or maybe you really know that where you are is not your calling at all.

Stop. Be still. Is this just “your stuff”… or is it God? Can you distinguish Him beyond the noise inside your head?

As you ponder that question, ask, “what is God?” Then strip it down to the bare bones and know that He IS. He IS and He chooses and has chose to come to us in the small, the unrecognizable, the difficult, the absurd, and the inconceivable.

So as you take that final breath as you stand on the ledge, will you choose to jump first and fear later? Will you—despite all your struggling—resist the voices of dissatisfaction and find Him there? Will you—despite yourself—accept that you have always been His child, His vessel, His instrument? Can you possibly allow Him to be that big? Because He IS and that is who you ARE… especially in the small, the unrecognizable, the difficult, the absurd, and the inconceivable.

Take a deep breath and take a huge leap off that cliff, not fearing the consequences, but resting instead in your Father’s embrace. He IS that big!

Deep dark truthful mirror

There was a young man attending our Sunday night Sr High gatherings last spring who I can’t seem to shake from my mind. He began coming as a sort of favor to his mother who had recently begun attending worship on Sunday mornings with our congregation. After speaking with the mother over the phone and over the course of a few Sundays, I had formed an inkling of what to expect from him the first time that I met the boy. I’m sure we all know what happens when we form expectations of people. It often hinders us from seeing through our expectations to the person who Jesus sees. I don’t know about you, but I’m guilty!

When I first met him, I really wasn’t too surprised. He was a high school freshman, small and thin in stature, much like my self. He wore all black, was very quiet, and I had prior knowledge that he was not a believer in Christ. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to notice that this kid was new, different from most of our kids, and quite uncomfortable. Over the course of the evening, he slowly opened up more and seemed to enjoy the time hanging out with the group. At the end of the evening, my wife and I volunteered to give him a ride home as his mother was working that evening. During the car ride home, he told my wife and I about his broken family and how he was an “atheist”, and was apologetic to us both as if he were going to offend us or say something to us that we’d never heard before. When we finally arrived at the front door of his mother’s house, he offered his hand in thanks to both of us as we said our goodbyes. My wife and I spent the long ride home praying for the boy and his family. For about four consecutive months, he continued to show up on Sunday nights until last summer when his “agreement” with his mom supposedly ended.

The thing that single-handedly both blew my mind and frustrated me about him that night and over the course of the next four months was how sincere and bold he was in his conviction that there was no God. He was only a freshman in high school and was more bold in his denial of God than most of us are in living out the amazing, life-changing revelation of the God who loves us the filthy, wretched and unlovable! So why did this young man stop coming to our youth gatherings after four months? Wasn’t he hearing about this God who loves? Wasn’t he hearing the too-incredible-for-words news of this Jesus Christ who saves? Absolutely! So, what happened?

I believe that where we often fail as the church is not in presenting the life-saving gospel of Jesus Christ, but in “being” the life-saving, embracing good news of the God who became flesh and was broken for our sake. I believe that after Sunday night, outside the confines of the “church grounds”, this young man was never visited, phoned, or invited by anyone claiming to know this very same Jesus. You see, we’re too busy, too comfortable, and too self-righteous to reach out and in to a dying world and touch those who, like ourselves, need to feel Jesus Christ. If we are compelled by Christ’s love, should we not make it our mission to spend time with those regarded as scum? Should we not go out of our way to touch those deemed filthy? Should this not be the purpose of our existence? If we are it’s a sin, then friends I’m the chief! All praise to our Father that we’re free from sin’s bondage and free in the life of Christ! But it’s critical that we ask ourselves these questions? How many of us have a neighbor, a co-worker, a friend, a teacher, a doctor, a parent, or a child who doesn’t know that God loves them? Brothers and sisters, if we are to be friends; if we are to be disciples of Jesus; and if we are to be world-changers, then we must be compelled by Christ’s love as the church to be in the broken, hurting lives of others, living out the hope, grace, and love of the God who saves.

“If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that One died for all, and therefore all died. And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again." -2 Corinthians 5:13-15 (NIV)

Following a homeless man

Selling a home is a big task. Nay, a gigantic task! I mean, if you want to do it right, you’ve got to get yourself a good realtor, an appraisal on your house and then start deciding just how much profit you want to reap off of this beautiful abode which you’ve put hours of days of work into. Then come the open-houses… The place you come for sanctuary, to relax, to not worry about what you look like, becomes a high-maintenance department store window for the whole world to see. The carpet must be eternally clean enough to eat off of. The splash guards must be perfectly aligned with the gutter spouts. Piles of underwear upon the floors and nose clippings around the bathroom sink are no longer acceptable living conditions. After all, people are going to be walking through your house… people you don’t even know! This is where anxiety finds it’s breeding ground. Who knows how long this masquerade of Better Homes and Gardens® living could go on?

Then, days later, after only one person looks at your home, it sells. Your house is now sold as if God were beating you over the head with a steel rail engraved with the word “MOVE” all over it! You were hoping you’d be able to sell eventually for somewhere near what you were asking, but never did you imagine this quickly! A month ago you hadn’t even considered moving any time soon… Where are you going to move to now?

This is the scenario of the past few months for my wife and I. Amidst a summer filled with weeklong trips, day trips and VBS, we’ve been boxing up all the stuff we’ve somehow managed to accumulate over three years of marriage. We topped it off by moving out of our lovely home of two years on my birthday! (If you haven’t had the SHEER JOY of moving out of a home on your birthday, I really do suggest you try to arrange it.) We now find ourselves homeless and having a hard time either finding a repo-home that we’re happy with or are being out-bid by others on homes that we really like! It’s been a bit frustrating. Especially when you consider how obvious it seemed that God wanted us to move yet we’ve yet to find a place to move to.

But this is the God we serve. He doesn’t number the dots for us so that we can complete the puzzle on our own. He asks us to surrender and trust Him as our Leader and our Provider. That’s something that I’ve had a really hard time doing through all of this, yet I can see Him. I see my Provider in the countless people who have offered to put us up in their homes. I see my Provider in the fact that we’re not having to make payments on a home while we’re gone on trips this summer. I see my Leader saying “foxes have dens and birds have nests, but I, the Son of Man, have no home of my own, not even a place to lay my head.” It’s time to filter our own desires through the truth of Jesus Christ.

“Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.” –Matthew 6:32-33

Who among us is a big stinkin' failure?

I’ve been a little unfocused lately… a little out of my game… Come to think of it, every time that I turn around, I seem to find myself coming up short, failing at something or other on a daily basis. You might say it’s become a bit of a routine. Why can’t I be consistent in my Scripture study? Why do I find it so incredibly hard to get alone, be still and just be in conversation with God? Why do I find it so difficult to be sacrificial with my time? Will I never be able to put my wife’s needs and desires before my own without her having to tell me? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Probably the same thing that was wrong with Simon Peter. I’m a miserable failure.

Peter was as impulsive and enthusiastic as a follower of Jesus could get. But when Jesus informed the Twelve that each one of them would abandon Him, Peter’s reaction was, “Jesus, I don’t care what you say, there is NO WAY that I will abandon you! I’ll go wherever you go even if I have to die!” Jesus turned to Peter and said, “I tell you the truth Peter, that tonight, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times!” Sure enough, soon after Jesus was arrested and put on trial, Peter denied even knowing Jesus not once, not twice, but thrice. Despite his best intentions, Peter failed Jesus. Kind of reminds me of myself.

I could stop right there, but the incredible thing is… That’s not the end of the story! Three days later, after a long night fishing, the disciples spotted Jesus walking along the shore. Peter jumps out of the boat into the water and swims to the shore to be welcomed by the God whom he had failed so miserably! That’s the hope that we have today. We have the unchangeable promise of an unchangeable God of grace who knows every disgusting thing about us and yet holds us in the midst of our failures. He already knows us and yet he’s calling us deeper in to service and relationship with Himself. We may be failures, but we are victorious failures!

“I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms.” –Ephesians 1:18-20

Fiction family

I was watching an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond last night (a show I never really appreciated until I was married). The episode, as usual, revolved around Ray, his wife Debra, his brother Robert and their meddling parents Frank and Marie. After Ray’s 11-year old daughter Ally asked her father, “If everybody goes to heaven, why does God put us on earth?,” hilarity ensues as the five “adults” ponder over the meaning of life. Of course, God tells us in the Bible that the only road to salvation for any of us is through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Sitting on the sofa, watching this fictional conversation take place on our television, I became sad at how hopeless and ultimately meaningless a life outside of Jesus is. This was by no means a new revelation to me, but in that moment, I found God reminding me that I was created to know Him, to love Him, to experience His love.

It is only through actively seeking Jesus that we come to experience life in the fullest (“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full”—John 10:10). Are you knowing Jesus? Not just knowing about Him, but intimately KNOWING Him?

Ought three

A new year begins. Who notices? Besides the brief excitement during the few minutes following the stroke of midnight at the end of December 31st, what difference does it make? Sure we’ll make plenty of New Year’s “resolutions”… Promise ourselves to do or not do a lot of things that we’ll do plenty of regardless. It’s a chance to put a past behind us that will catch up with us anyhow. It means that we’ve got three hundred and sixty-some-odd days to start planning next year’s Christmas festivities. What difference does a new year make really except that it adds another year to our lives?

The difference is that we are loved by a Creator who incredibly unchanging. He remains the same this year as he did the year before and the years ahead of us. He doesn’t need a new year to start something new in our lives. He calls us NOW! Jesus approached Peter, Andrew, James and John, four men whose very livelihood existed in the fact that they were fishermen. Jesus approached them saying “Come, follow me and I will make you fishers of men” (Mark 1:16-20). He didn’t say, “Go get yourselves clean, get right with God and then, a year from now, maybe you’ll be ready for what I’ve got for you.” No sir! Jesus approached them and said, “Right here! Right now! When the only thing you know is being fishermen, I want you to drop your nets and follow me! I’ve got something bigger and better for you. I’m gonna change your life and build my Kingdom through you!” We don’t need a new year to get our lives clean brothers and sisters! We are LOVED by the Lord of the universe who approaches us in all of our filth and wretchedness and says, “Follow me. I’ve got somethin’ better for you.”

Shalom.